What to do when you’re crushing on a friend

Whether it’s a new friend or your bestie, it can be hard to deal when you have a crush on a friend. You might be bursting to tell them how you really feel. Or you might wonder if it’s better saying nothing at all. Will it change the friendship to tell them? Will they feel the same way? Knowing what to do can be hard. Here are a few ways you can deal with the situation:

  • Decide if it’s a secret, or something worth sharing. With any friendship, honesty is the best policy. But sometimes things are better left as they are. If you want to tell your crush that you’re head over heels, there is a chance it might change your friendship – for better or for worse. They might be totally into you, too. Or they might act surprised or feel unsure what to say. If you decide to go for it, worry less about what happens next. Opening up about your feelings might actually deepen your friendship. It’s up to you to decide if you want to tell your crush about it now, later, or possibly never.

  • Give yourself a pep talk. If you do decide to tell your friend that you’re super into them and are feeling shaky in your boots, keep calm and confident. There’s a reason your friendship has blossomed up to this point. A good friend will be kind, even if they don’t feel the same.

  • Expect the unexpected. Falling hard for someone really close to you might be kind of scary. If the feeling isn’t mutual, things might feel weird for a while. Before you tell your friend you’re into them, double check you’ll be okay if things don’t work out. Make sure you’re ready to take the leap in case your friendship falters. On the flip side, your friend might be totally into you, too. No matter the outcome, you’re the boss. Make sure you feel confident with whatever direction you choose.

  • Be in the moment. It’s hard to take it easy when you’ve got a crush. And it might feel a little vulnerable to actually tell them about it. But the only way to find out if your friend likes you back is to ask. If you approach your crush without expectations, you might be pleasantly surprised at the result. Talk to them about it in person. You might want to wait before flirting hard face-to-face until you can confirm that they like you back. It might save your friendship in the long-term.

Ultimately, there’s no crystal ball that will tell you exactly how things will go and no matter what you do, feelings are on the line. Think a lot about it, talk it over with someone who knows you both and most of all, trust your gut!


P.S. If you and your crush might be having the kind of sex that results in pregnancy, have a plan for birth control. If you do decide to go for it and things get steamy, you’ll be prepared for that, too.

Want to learn more?

Select one of the related topics to find more.