6 windows to stare wistfully out of while wishing you were getting boned

Isolation is driving all of us to the very edge of our ability to cope. And for some reason, some of us feel extra horny when stressed, which really makes no sense, but, like, no judgment though. Whether you’re single, self-quarantining in a different home from your partner, one of you is an essential worker so you’re separated within your home, or one of you is sick, not being able to access physical touch when you want it is very, very difficult. So we thought we could help by suggesting some windows you could gaze out of while channeling your inner Avril Lavigne.

1. Your bedroom window

It may open onto an air shaft, and that air shaft may or may not smell like exhaust from a deep fat fryer, but dammit, you’re going to gaze longingly out of it if you want to!

2. That tiny high window in your bathroom

You have to stand on the edge of the tub to look out this window, but hey, what else is there to do?

3. Your living room window

Great news! This window looks out onto another window!

4. The car window, while you sit in your driveway

You can’t go anywhere, but you can go nowhere in style.

5. This thing

The good news is you have a skylight. The bad news is that all you can see through it is a dead pigeon. The good news is that the pigeon is your new best friend.

6. This lovely bay window

Just kidding, you don’t have a bay window. Who do you think you are, Diane Keaton?


P.S. Read one person’s story about how learning to practice radical consent made sex feel safe again after trauma.

Want to learn more?

Select one of the related topics to find more.