If birth control methods were Halloween costumes, here’s what they’d be
Happy birth control-oween!
October is one of our favorite months because it means that Halloween is around the corner AND Thanks, Birth Control Day is coming (on November 15th—mark your calendars!). We’re starting the celebration early this year with a mashup of our two favorite holidays, so without further delay, here are eight birth control methods as Halloween costumes.
1. The pill: A black cat
It’s a classic, it’s cute, it’s always there for you, and it’s not a lot of fuss.
2. The ring: Any plush costume
It’s comfy, cozy, and low maintenance, just like the ring, which is comfy and cozy nestled up against your cervix. Nobody sees you inside your teddy bear costume, and nobody sees the ring inside your vagina.
3. The IUD: Supergirl/Superman
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a small, T-shaped piece of plastic that sits inside your uterus and stops sperm from fertilizing an egg. So basically, like Supergirl, it swoops in and saves the day, and is just really f-ing good at its job.
4. “Not right now”: Skipping the costume this year
If not having sex right now were a Halloween costume…it wouldn’t be. It would be staying in, getting cozy on the couch, and watching a scary movie. And maaaaaybe giving out candy, but we’d probably just closing the blinds, turning off all the lights, and eating it instead!
5. The condom: An astronaut
We’re exploring, we’re out there, we’re having fun, but we are always protected. Never exposed to the elements.
6. The Implant: A mummy
The implant, like a mummy, is long, white, and in it for the long haul.
7. Emergency contraception: A firefighter
Who’s there when you need them most, with all the muscles—ahem, all the effectiveness—you need to get you out of a tough spot? That’s right. EC. (And your local firefighters.)
8. Withdrawal: A French maid
If you’ve ever tried out role play, you probably remember how awkward and silly you felt the first time. But the more you do it, the better it gets. Similarly, you need to have some experience to get withdrawal (aka pulling out) right—but if you do, it can actually be pretty effective. (Also there can be a fun element of tease to withdrawal, and a feather duster might fit right in to the experience, just don’t get carried away and forget the whole pulling out part.)
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