The pleasure-friendly guide to birth control

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime in birth control conversations: how your contraception can affect your pleasure.

I know, I know—sometimes it feels like we should be so grateful that modern medicine gives us so many ways to prevent pregnancy, so we shouldn’t be “picky” about side effects. But here’s the truth: your sexual satisfaction matters. A lot. And if your birth control is affecting your libido or making it harder to orgasm, that’s not something you just have to live with.

With that in mind, here’s how different methods might affect your sex life. And, more importantly, how to find the sweet spot between pregnancy prevention and sexual satisfaction.

How different methods might affect your pleasure

Combination hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring)

The potential pleasure perks:

• Less pregnancy anxiety = major turn-on
• Lighter, more predictable periods for many people
• Clearer skin for some users, which can boost confidence
• The option to skip periods if you want (hello, vacation sex!)

The potential pleasure pitfalls:

• Some people experience decreased libido
• Vaginal dryness can be an issue for some
• The synthetic hormones might affect natural arousal patterns

Progestin-only methods (mini-pill, shot, implant, hormonal IUD)

The potential pleasure perks:

• Some users may have lighter periods or no periods at all
• The implant and hormonal IUD are very convenient and don’t require any reminders or effort after having them placed

The potential pleasure pitfalls:

• Not knowing when you’re going to bleed and irregular spotting can be a mood killer for some
• Some people report libido changes (though this varies widely)
• The shot may be linked to mood changes for some users

Non-hormonal methods (copper IUD, fertility awareness, barrier methods like external condoms, internal condoms)

The potential pleasure perks:

• Staying connected to your natural hormone cycles, which some people really like
• No worrying about potential side effects from hormones
• Condoms may actually help some people last longer
• Fertility awareness may help you better understand your body’s arousal patterns

The potential pleasure pitfalls:

• Copper IUD can make periods longer and heavier (not great if you’re not into period sex)
• Barrier methods require thinking ahead and might interrupt spontaneity
• Some find condoms decrease sensation

So, will hormonal birth control kill your sex drive?

You’ve probably heard the rumor: hormonal birth control will tank your libido. The truth? Not exactly. It might affect your sex drive, but “kill” is dramatic. Some people notice changes while others don’t. And if you do notice changes, there are things you can do about it.

Tips if your libido feels lower on hormonal birth control:

1. Talk to your provider. They can suggest different methods or address other factors that could be affecting your libido.
2. Try a different formulation. Different hormone combinations affect people differently. A lower-dose pill or different progestin might work better for you.
3. Consider switching hormone families. If combination methods aren’t working, try progestin-only, or vice versa.
4. Give it time. It can take three to six months for your body to adjust to a new method.
5. Don’t forget about lube. If your hormonal method is causing vaginal dryness, a good lubricant can make all the difference.

Finding your pleasure-birth control sweet spot

The goal isn’t to find the “perfect” method (spoiler: for most people, it doesn’t exist). The goal is to find the method that works best for your body, your lifestyle, and your sex life. To help you figure it out, here are some questions to ask yourself and some to bring to your next appointment with your health care provider.

Questions to ask yourself:

• How important is spontaneity in my sex life?
• Am I okay with some trial and error as I find what works?
• What gets in the way of my pleasure more: potential side effects or having to think about birth control in the moment?
• How do I typically respond to hormonal changes (like during my cycle)?

Questions to ask your health care provider:

• Which methods are least likely to affect my libido?
• If I experience side effects, how long should I wait before trying another birth control option?
• What are my options if I want a birth control method that works really well but doesn’t have hormones?

Your sexual pleasure matters. While preventing pregnancy is important to many, no one should have to sacrifice their sex life to do it. If your current method is affecting your pleasure in ways that bother you, it’s worth talking to a health care provider about alternatives.

Remember: the best birth control method is the one you’re happy using consistently. And if being happy using it means it needs to play nicely with your sex life, that’s not asking too much—that’s asking for comprehensive health care that considers your whole experience, not just your uterus.