Close
Welcome! ( or ) Español
Pinit fg en rect gray 20

10 things you can do rn (without getting a ton of shade) because you’re not pregnant

Go ahead, wash down that deli meat with some vodka

Don’t get us wrong, getting pregnant can be totally rad when you want it to happen. Equally rad is not getting pregnant when you don’t want it to happen.

As we prepare our hearts, minds, and uteruses (uteri?) for Thanks, Birth Control Day this Tuesday, November 13th, we’re presenting you with 10 things you can do with reckless abandon when you’re not pregnant that you can’t do when you are without getting LOTS of commentary from strangers:

1. Down a bottle of wine.

via Giphy

Hey we don’t RECOMMEND this, but no judgment either.

2. Spend an irresponsible percentage of your disposable income on clothing for yourself.

via Giphy

Treat yourself.

3. Eat raw fish.

via Giphy

And bean sprouts and turkey sandwiches and soft cheeses. So many soft cheeses.

4. Play contact sports.

via Giphy

Whether it’s tackling on the rugby field or MMA boob kicking, you do you.

5. Take a hot, hot bath.

via Giphy

Or get into an even hotter hot tub.

6. Report any stranger who touches your stomach for assault.

via Giphy

Technically, you could do this whether or not you’re pregnant. Just saying.

7. Clean the litter box.

via Giphy

Wait…

8. Take teratogenic medications to your heart’s content.

via Giphy

(Or, like, probably just take as prescribed.) Retin-A here we come!

9. Pound triple espressos.

via Giphy

With or without a candy cane chaser.

10. Have no idea what you’ll be doing in 9 months.

via Giphy

Probably not much.

So yeah. Thanks, Birth Control Day is pretty much every day.

XOXO,
Bedsider

P.S. Share the love for your BC method this Tuesday, November 13th, using #ThxBirthControl.

add new comment