How to end a date early

No shame in the escape hatch game

If you go on a lot of dates, you probably find that most of them are simply mediocre. There are usually a few good ones and a few bad ones sprinkled in, but the truly great and the truly awful ones are pretty rare. That said, here at Bedsider we believe it’s best to always be prepared, so here are 5 ways to handle a date that you simply cannot stand to be on for one more minute.

1. Have an automated service fake call you

Need to fake an emergency that will require you to head home to your comfy couch immediately? Here you go. You’re welcome.

2. Tell them you hear your mom calling your name

Go outside to “look for her,” and then just start running.

3. Try the “Oh no—are we related?!” gambit

This one takes some commitment. First, start asking a lot of genealogy questions. Then once you find out the name of village their great-grandparents were born in, tell them your great-grandparents were born there too! Then ask what their last name was, and tell them that’s your great-grandparents’ last name too. All you have to do after that is wait while they put the puzzle pieces together.

4. Fake technical difficulties

If you’re on a Zoom date that you’re ready to not be on anymore, just keep repeating, “Oh no! You’re frozen! I can’t see or hear you!” They’ll probably be like, “Hello? Can you hear me now?” but the thing is, if you just hang up, you really won’t be able to see or hear them.

5. Show them your wedding inspo board on Pinterest

Let them know the venue is already booked for next spring just in case and that you just need to let the caterer know how many guests are gluten-free as soon as possible.

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