5 things you probably didn’t know about asexuality

Spoiler alert: some asexual people have sex

It’s Pride month, and we’re continuing our celebration by talking about asexuality, which is too often overlooked in conversations about sexuality. Possibly because of that lack of conversation, lots of people are still in the dark about what asexuality is and what it means. That ends here. Here are 5 things about asexuality that might challenge your assumptions about it:

1. Asexual people can experience attraction

Asexuality is generally defined as not experiencing sexual attraction or not experiencing it often. But some asexual people experience sexual attraction sometimes or under certain circumstances. It’s a spectrum, like so many things.

2. You can be asexual and enjoy having sex

Attraction and sex do not necessarily have to go together. You can have sex, and enjoy it, without experiencing attraction. Desire for sex among asexual people is also a spectrum—some asexual people enjoy and want to have sex, some want to have sex mostly or exclusively for their partner, and some are repulsed by anything sexual in nature. Every point along that spectrum is valid.

3. You can be asexual and masturbate

Some asexual people masturbate and some don’t. There are many reasons to masturbate, many of which have nothing to do with sexual attraction to another person. Like, for example, to reduce stress, to help you sleep, or just because it feels good, duh.

4. Asexual people can fall in love

The Split Attraction Model explains that there is more than one type of attraction. For some people, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are separate, so while they may not experience sexual attraction they may experience a desire to be in a romantic relationship with someone. There are other types of attraction too, including sensual attraction and aesthetic attraction.

5. Asexual people can be in happy relationships

There’s so much that goes into a healthy, happy relationship, and what each person needs from a relationship is different. For some people, sexual attraction just isn’t part of it. It doesn’t mean they can’t love someone else and be in a fulfilling relationship with them.

Intrigued? Find out more about asexuality.

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