Long winter nights: How to bring him home for the holidays

Meeting the family is a big deal any time of year, but the holidays seem to triple the intensity. And then there’s the sensitive issue of sleeping arrangements. It’s one thing for you and him to share a bed in your normal life, but what do you do when you’re back home with your family? In your old room? If you’re bringing him home for the first time, here are few tips to help you navigate who sleeps where.

If your parents are cool about sex: If you and your guy are ok sharing a bed in your parents’ home and your folks are ok with it, proceed with discretion. This might mean sex on the floor to avoid a squeaky bed or swapping your usual screaming orgasm for one that’s just as intense, but whisper-quiet. Even the coolest parents might blush (or regret their openness) if the volume of your boot knocking wakes up the whole house.

If your parents have no idea you have sex: Do you want them to know you have sex? If not, graciously accept separate rooms and sneak off with your guy for quickies when you’re sure you won’t get caught.

But if you want to share a room with your boyfriend, prepare for a very adult conversation. Maybe even an awkward one. And have the talk with your folks before you set your holiday plans to give everyone time to adjust to your new level of maturity. (And your new level of bravery.)

If talking to both parents is too intimidating, you can always approach them one at a time. Tell them that you and your boyfriend would like to share a room, but that you understand if they are not comfortable with it. Offer to stay at a hotel if that is the case. They may ask a lot of very personal questions. Keep calm. Remember that they love you and they’re just trying to process this development.

Depending on your parents’ views of sex and intimacy, the bed-sharing conversation can go in a lot of different directions. If it doesn’t go well, try not to worry or make a huge deal out of it (if you can help it). It’s still their house and they have jurisdiction over the bedrooms. Focus on the holidays and the overall visit. You and he have plenty of time to camp out in the bedroom in the New Year.

One last tip: Before you drop the we-want-to-sleep-together bomb, it’s good to assess whether or not it’s going to freak your parents out and ruin the holidays. You know them, so think about how they might react and then decide if it’s worth it.

Don’t you just love flannel sheets,

P.S. Get Bedsider on the go: to get started, text MyBC to 42-411.

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