Breakups suck. Especially when the relationship worked except for that one big issue.
Previously we tried to help by covering a few of the most common deal breakers we know, like religion, politics, parents, and having kids (or not). But our list of romantic challenges was long, so here are a few more deal breakers to get you through some of the gnarlier things a couple can face.
Deal breaker: Addiction
Qualities needed to make it work: Compassion, patience, forgiveness, responsibility, trust, strength
When it might get tricky: One word = relapse
Try this: Know what you’re signing up for. (For a glimpse, watch a little Celebrity Rehab, Addicted, Intervention, or rent Rachel Getting Married.) Seek out an addiction counselor who can explain your roles in recovery and provide some helpful techniques to stay healthy and clean.
Deal breaker: Wanting to live in different cities
Qualities needed to make it work: Sense of adventure, ability to compromise, open mindedness, good with change
When it might get tricky: You get the job in Paris and he signs a 3-year lease in Omaha, Nebraska
Try this: Ask yourself which means more: Your location or your significant other? We bet you’ll tip towards one of these things. If location means more, own it and accept it. (You can always try having a long distance relationship.) If your significant other means more, it looks like one of you gets to make a little sacrifice in the name of love. A little sacrifice is not a bad thing as long as you don’t hold on to resentment. This decision can work if you embrace the choice to be together and approach it like an opportunity to grow together.
Deal breaker: Age difference is too much
Qualities needed to make it work: Loyalty, devotion, caring nature, sense of fun, inquisitiveness, no jealousy, young at heart
When it might get tricky: When he’s ready for bed and you’re ready to hit the club
Try this: Your significant other does not have to fulfill every single part of your existence. Create a strong social network of friends and family who like the same stuff as you and spend time with them when your partner opts out of something you want to do. Then come home to your S.O. and be happy you have the best of all worlds. Now, if you’re the older one: Make sure you’re truly compatible. If you have to constantly baby sit or have your patience tested, ask yourself if it’s worth it. (Even if the sex is amazing.)
And since break ups can often lead to make ups—with lots of intense make up sex—make sure your birth control is as ready to go as you are.
It’ll all work out,
P.S. Need to find a local health center? Want a birth control prescription? We can help.