Age ain’t nothing but a number

What it is really like to date someone older

We love a good love story and it doesn’t have to be about two people who are exactly the same age. We’ll cheer on any couple that is good for each other and making this world sweeter, healthier, or happier. But falling for someone who is quite a bit older can have challenges. Here are few that we’ve encountered.

4-Year Age Difference
Life: Is there a difference between seniors and freshmen? Not really. Four years might make someone seem a bit more experienced, but you’re actually peers.
Sex: Whether you’re 20 and they’re 24 (or you’re 88 and they’re 92) you won’t feel this age difference in bed.
Awkward? Rarely. Except for those occasions when they act like a baby; then it’s like you’re the older one.

10-Year Age Difference
Life: There’s a huge difference between 16 and 26, but once you hit your 30s, a ten-year age gap isn’t such a big deal. You probably listen to and watch a lot of the same stuff, but also expose each other to new stuff. They might be more settled. You might be figuring stuff out that they already dealt with. If you’re both mature and supportive, this can be easy and compatible.
Sex: Your stamina should match up. Your physical appearances are still pretty similar. They might have been doing it longer, so you might learn a few new tricks.
Awkward? Maybe. Like when they’ve never heard of your fave cartoon from when you were little because they were in college studying quantum physics and having sex on the beach.

20-Year Age Difference
Life: You two are close enough in age where you can share interests and feel like-minded, but the reality is you are from different generations. This can be exciting at first, but your maturity and energy levels may be very different. It’s great that they can usually bring more emotional and financial stability to the relationship. Works best if you want—and enjoy—the same things in life.
Sex: It’s not a race to the “O” any more. They make time for sensuality, exploration, and your pleasure. But you may start to notice the first signs of their physical aging, like a few gray hairs. Down there.
Awkward? Sometimes. Especially when you’re out at a club with the best DJ in the world, but you don’t dance together because their moves are old school, but not in a good way.

30-Year Age Difference and Older
Life: This can feel like you’re from different worlds. (Or like you’re dating a parent.) Friends and family may not accept it, especially your partner’s kids if they’re the same age as you. Works best if you’re an old soul, but be aware that this age gap has its complications.
Sex: Hello, Viagra. Also, they may not be as flexible, fit, or energetic as you, so the action might be less rigorous. (Skip the crisscross.) Their sperm, however, can remain strong, so don’t bail on birth control.
Awkward? Often. Particularly when people assume you’re their child, then look at you funny when they realize you’re actually “together” together.

Have you been with someone older? We’d love to hear your advice in the comments below.

You know, they say true love knows no age,

P.S. Can dudes buy emergency contraception or is that strictly for ladies only? Our latest, award-winning Fact or Fiction video sets the record straight.

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