What to do when he wants to add another girl to the mix

Ménage à trois. Three little words about three people having sex. It sounds all French and fabulous, but could you do it? Would you be ok with a threesome? If the person you’re sleeping with keeps bringing it up, you’re going to have to answer that question sometime. Here’s how to deal with it.

If you’re into it
Make sure you feel connected to or attracted to that third someone. Use birth control. And if it’s girl-on-girl-on-guy action, be prepared for complexity.

You could fall for her and leave him. He could fall for her and leave you. You might gain a new BFF out of it, lose a BFF, love it, hate it, be bored by it, or discover it’s not your thing. You might feel left out. You might feel like the meat in a sex sandwich. You might become open to exploring polyamory. And then again, you might feel ambivalent.

If you’re not into it
Tell your partner. Explain that you’re not comfortable bringing someone else into the bedroom. Then—if you want to continue sleeping together—figure out a sexual adventure you both want to have and do that.

But if your partner keeps pressuring you or puts you down because you’re not comfortable with a three-way, you need to seriously question if they’re worth it. Because honestly, anyone who makes it all about their needs—without any concern for your comfort level—is wandering into douchebag territory. Just sayin’.

If you do it and hate it
Again, tell your partner. Try to work through it in a mature, honest, healthy way. If they understand and support your feelings, great. If not, you’re better off without them. If the whole experience causes drama or trauma and you’re really over both of these people, keep it dignified, and move on.

If you do it and love it
Be safe and carry on.

Make sure the bed’s sturdy,

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? We’re so addicted it’s not even funny.

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