The Frisky Friday Top Five: How to say penis without saying penis

We unveiled over 50 ways to say vagina. (By the way, how’s your little juicebox?) Now it’s time to have some fun with the guys and their apparatus. As usual, there was no way to limit this to just five.

Classics: Penie, Peen, Pee Pee, Wee Wee, Winky, Peter, Bone, Boner, Schlong, Stiffy, Mr. Happy, Hard On, Member, Junk, Johnson, Pecker, Unit, Shaft, Pud, Chub, Prick, Putz, Willie, Knob, Dong, Wang, Wanker, and Jimmy.

Dude Food: Sausage, Salami, Noodle, Banana, Bologna Pony, Meat Popsicle, Meat Thermometer, Man Meat, Tube Steak, Pickle, Weenie, Weiner, Beef Bayonet, and Pork Sword.

How Romantic: Love Muscle, Love Missile, Love Stick, Disco Stick, Magic Stick, Magic Wand, Joystick, Giggle Stick, Pocket Rocket, and Baby Maker.

You Animal: Trouser Snake, Cobra, Cock, One-eyed Monster, Hog, and Worm.

No, Thanks: Power Drill, Jack Hammer, Bat, Club, Rod, Tool, and Pole.

Honorable Mention: Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger, Master of Ceremonies, and Skin Flute.

No matter what you call it, if it’s a working penis it can get you pregnant, so don’t forget your birth control.

Hope he has a nice package,

P.S. Want to save money on your method? Find out if you qualify for free birth control.

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