Sizing them up: Do you have a list of what you’re looking for?

An endless supply of peanut butter cup brownies. Shoes that cost more than your rent. A miniature pony. Breakfast with Drake. Sometimes we just want what we want.

That goes for significant others too. Long before we meet one—during those in between times when we’re not with someone—it’s easy to focus on what we want our next lover to look like, smell like, act like, etc. But is it a good idea to create a list? Yes and no.

Make this list.
It’s good to know what you want and to visualize and dream big. When you have clarity and believe that your ideal mate is out there—and when you trust that you’ll find them when the time is right—some say you can actually manifest the love of your life.

But maybe not this list.
A $200K salary. Owns a condo by 30. Drives something posh. Has shown his moody photography in a Brooklyn art gallery. Knows how to order wine in French. Having a list of specific requirements in a mate is fine as long as the things are symbols of what you’re looking for and not impossible criteria that no one will probably have.

For example, wanting someone who is financially stable, local, mobile, creative, and cultured is great. Those are positive attributes that reflect your personal priorities and preferences too. But if your list is too rigid and caught up in what they have instead of who they are and how they make you feel, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Now, if you do make a healthy list and it feels like you’ve been waiting forever without any glimpse of the person you want to meet, please remember to be patient. You’re worth waiting for. So is the right person. Have faith. We know it’ll happen.

Won’t be long now,

P.S. Think you can be inconsistent with your birth control because you’re not gonna get pregnant that easily? Don’t kid yourself! You’re fertile and it can happen, so get on an easy, reliable method.

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