Step away from the ice cream: How to mend a broken heart

The do's and don'ts

Love is a potent, exquisite, life changing, delicious thing. And it can be brutal as hell when it’s over. We hope you never have to endure having your heart shattered, but if you do, we hope this helps.


  • Trust with the intensity of a thousand suns that your heartache will pass. We know it feels like you’ll never heal, but you will. Time takes care of it for you. Time is your BFF after a busted heart.
  • Rally the troops. Asking for support isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of intelligence. Let your friends and family know what’s up. Let them help. Suffering alone is a one-way ticket to Depressionville.
  • Look forward. You’re probably going to reflect and rehash shit over and over. Remember: It feels better to dwell on a brighter, happier, healthier, more fulfilling future. One that’s full of possibility. Dwell in possibility.
  • Get back on that horse. You might want to take some time off before you explore romance again. That’s fine, but don’t let it go too far. You want to gain strength and get centered, not become so fearful of love (and getting hurt again) that you avoid it.
  • Stay on your birth control. Makeup sex. Breakup sex. Rebound sex. Cashing in on a friends-with-benefits thing. Do yourself a favor and be prepared for anything. Heartache-inspired sex happens.


  • Try not to seek comfort in food, booze, or anything destructive. Actually, we do encourage a little indulgence (including the one-on-one kind). That’s part of the process. Just don’t numb yourself with stuff that does more harm than good.
  • It’s not ok to stalk, harass, or go crazy on Twitter, Facebook, via text, or anywhere else. You’re already hurting, and while a little venting is expected, losing your shit in public won’t help you feel better.
  • Speaking of Facebook, if you find yourself refreshing their feed compulsively, you might want to take a little break from social media. Obsessing about what’s going on in their life can keep you from moving on with your own.
  • Please don’t lose faith in yourself. You’re just as smart, creative, caring, beautiful, sexy, badass, unique, and deserving as you ever were. We know this. You need to know this.
  • Use caution. Check yourself often and see if you’re making bad choices out of pain or loneliness. Also assess if the pain is too much to bear. A counselor or therapist might be helpful if you find yourself in dire despair.

We’ve ALL had our hearts chewed up and spat out at some point, so in case you’re in the middle of a breakup, we wanted to give you a short guide to getting through it. If you only take away one thing, let it be this: You can survive anything.


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