Fight scenes: Good for action movies. Sucky in your kitchen at 2 a.m. after your significant other pisses you off for the 800th time that week.
Here’s the truth: Every couple fights. Or argues. Or has a teensy kerfuffle. Or simply gets annoyed at each other. It’s human nature and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, but it can ruin your mood/day/sexcapades. So here’s a roundup of really useful tips for fighting fair when you feel a brawl coming on. Master these techniques and you’ll get past the mayhem and into the makeup sex much faster.
- The infinitely insightful ladies at Jezebel recommend a whole series of tactics including setting the scene, staying optimistic, thinking about the other person’s point of view, and more. This is your how-to-fight-fair blueprint. Read it.
- In her blog Yes and Yes, Sarah Von Bargen features fighting-fair advice from The Post College Survival Kit. The tips are really, really smart. We especially appreciate this bit of brilliance: Ask yourself “Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?”
Love is respect.org is all about healthy relationships and ending dating abuse. They make a lot of good points, including: Remember you’re on the same team.
- Before Ev`Yan Whitney created Sex, Love & Liberation, her blog Apricot Tea covered arguments with sensitivity, style, and grace. Our favorite point: Fight with love. Always.
- The famed Dr. Laura Berman (one of Oprah’s go-to sex experts) can help you learn the art of arguing so you communicate effectively when you’re on the warpath.
- If you like your romantic advice on the technical side, How Stuff Works explains How To Be In A Happy Relationship. In this article, it’s revealed that 80% of all conflicts between couples are unsolvable. Thankfully it also divulges how to get past that.
- And for a moment of Zen in your conflict, check out Tiny Buddha for 10 Ways To Overcome Conflicts In Relationships. It’ll calm you down with quotes like, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Not trying to be a downer, but we have to go on record stating that no fight should ever get physical. That means nobody touches you and you never lay a hand on anyone in anger. If your fighting reaches that level, please get help. Emotional abuse is also a concern, so be aware of how your fighting makes you feel.
What was the best advice you’ve been given about fighting fair? We’d all like to know, so share your wisdom in the comments section below this article on Bedsider.
Be a lover, not a fighter,
P.S. New health insurance laws have passed and many women can now get free birth control. Find out if you qualify.