Ask a man: Tricky questions and honest answers from a good guy

In our Ask a man series, we’ve covered things like what he thinks if we give it up on the first date and if lingerie makes a difference when we’re fooling around. This time our questions range from weddings and babies to wondering if he wants to do our roommate. Read on for a glimpse into the male mind.

Question #1: Do guys dream of weddings and babies like some women do? Or is it out of mind until you meet the one?

He said: For years I remember vividly asking myself if she was out there. I couldn’t picture her face, the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. I remember scanning faces in crowds asking if she was out there, this person I would marry.

Take away this: Guys might not buy bridal mags or stow away cute baby hats for when the time comes, but they do think about who they might marry. So, when the timing feels right, don’t be afraid to explore where your relationship is going. He should be able to handle it. (And if he can’t, that’s good to know too.)

Question #2: Are most guys—yes, even good guys—secretly imagining what it would be like to sleep with our best friend? Our roommate? The actress in the show we’re watching? The babysitter?

He said: Yes.

Take away this: Men’s sexual/visual stuff really is that pervasive and here’s why. Does that mean they’re destined to cheat? Maybe. Maybe not. (BTW, women aren’t really that different in this regard. Here’s more on that.)

Question #3: Is monogamy really that hard for most men? We know your nature doesn’t favor it, but is it this burning thing you have to constantly fight?

He said: Yes, constantly.

He also said: You will always find yourself in situations where cheating would be trivial, these are the moments you “train” for.

Take away this: When it comes to monogamy—and not straying—men and women always have a choice. It might not be easy, but monogamy is possible. It helps to check yourself, often, when you feel like cheating.

Question #4: Do traditional roles even matter any more? Does a girl have to cook or clean at all? Do most guys still care about that stuff?

He said: For me, its always been true that having someone who can cook and has their act together is secondary to “I love her”…it’s hard enough meeting someone compatible, adding on homemaker skills is just not practical. You just have to find her and hope for the best.

Take away this: Be yourself. The right guy will love you whether you make the bed and know how to make mocha coffee cake or not.


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