Waiting and wanting: Sex, birth control, and long distance relationships

You’re here. They’re not. You want each other bad and all that pent up longing is enough to make you drive all night, catch a flight, or pick a fight just to release the sexual tension. Long distance relationships aren’t always easy, but we believe in love, so here are a few tips to keep things going when there are just too many miles between you.


You send each other risqué texts and pics.

  • Good for: Flirting; feeling connected.

  • Bad for: Privacy. Even if you think it’ll never happen, at some point in time the texts or images might get shown to other people. This can really eff with your life, so be cautious and please use discretion, especially where pics are concerned.

  • Some acronyms: 143 (I love you). TDTM (talk dirty to me). K4Y (kiss for you).

Phone Sex

You call each other and talk as if you were having sex.

  • Good for: Feeling intimate even when you’re far apart; exploring what turns you on.

  • Bad for: Shyness. If either of you are shy or uncomfortable with sex talk, this could be too embarrassing or awkward.

  • Some planning: Use a phone with free long distance and a fully charged battery. Schedule the calls for a day and time when you won’t be disturbed or disturb others.

Video Chat

You both sit in front of a computer and chat live.

  • Good for: Spending time together face-to-face. (It feels like you’re in the same room.)

  • Bad for: Shyness and privacy. If it’s too awkward, one-sided, or no fun, this can drain a less-than-stable relationship.

  • Some serious stuff to think about: There are ways for people to record video chats and you could end up being seen by a lot of people if you’re not careful about what you share and show. Please be wary and think twice about how far you go over video.

Birth Control

Bedsider highly recommends that you stay on an effective birth control method even if you’re in a long distance relationship and rarely having sex. Why? Because it covers a lot of potential scenarios like these…

  • Your partner surprises you with a visit.

  • You don’t have time to stock up on birth control before you see each other.

  • You have a weak moment and fool around with someone else. (BTW, read this if you’re tempted.)

We also hope you’ll keep condoms around too and use them when you do have sex. Not to be a downer, but not everyone remains faithful even if you do. So please protect yourself against STIs no matter what.

One more thing: When you first have sex after a dry spell, you can be more susceptible to urinary tract infections (UTIs). Here are some things you can do to avoid getting a UTI when you finally get together.

How do you survive a long distance relationship? We’d love to know what works for you, so please post your tips in the comments.


P.S. Sex is better when you love your birth control. Find the best, most reliable method for your body and lifestyle.

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