Where’d you go? Falling in love and ignoring friends

Here’s how it happens: You fall in love. It consumes you. You want to be with this person 24/7. There will be a lot of time spent in the bedroom. There will be romantic one-on-one dates. You will separate only for critical things like school or work. Your friends will be happy for you, but if you go MIA for too long, they’ll also think WTF?

Researchers have found that falling in love actually leads to the loss of two people from your inner-circle, on average. Basically, your new love takes the place of one friend and one family member.

But having a new relationship doesn’t have to be a disappearing act that pisses everyone off. Here’s how to stay connected to friends and family even when you’re head over heels.

  • Group dates. Plan some. Getting everyone together is how you integrate your new love into your social scene.

  • Double dates. Going out with another couple gives you a break from the intensity of it just being you two alone all the time. It’s also a good way to bond with each other’s friends in a more intimate setting.

  • Down time. You’re not necessarily going to need it or want it, but take it anyway. Force yourself to go out on your own and meet up with a friend for coffee or a movie, run errands with your mom, or get to that yoga class you miss. Down time is good for all your relationships. Plus, giving each other space is healthy in a love relationship.

  • Comment. If you can’t be around your friends and family in person, make sure you glance at their social media feeds and let them know you care through comments and likes.

  • Don’t forget. Falling in love occupies your thoughts and time, which makes it easy to forget people’s birthdays, big events, etc. Set reminders. Seriously. Put them in your phone and act on them. It only takes a second and you’ll be doing a lot of good towards keeping your friendships intact.

  • Create overlap. Are you and your S.O. going somewhere? Offer a friend a ride too. Or pick stuff up for someone and drop it off. You still get your time together only you’ve made other people a part of it in a thoughtful way.

We’ve been on both sides of this scenario. We’ve fallen in love and haven’t come up for air for weeks. We’ve also felt abandoned by friends who did the same. And we know that being aware of this might not even be enough to pry you away from a hot new love. However, if it helps you save even just one friendship, it’s worth it. So, let us know in the comments if it does.


P.S. We hope you’ll never need it, but if you do, Bedsider can help you find emergency contraception near you.

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