Trust your gut. Follow your heart. You’ll know when it’s right. People say these things like they’re easy. But in matters of love—and lust—how can you rely on your inner wisdom when logic, emotions, and attraction sometimes contradict each other?
Or in other words: What do you do when your brain, heart, and snooch all seem to want something different? The good news is that you can develop intuition when it comes to relationships…and tapping into it can help you make decisions about important things like who to trust, who to sleep with, or when to end things.
According to Judith Orloff, MD—a psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and bestselling author—here are five intuitions about romance not to ignore:
- Body signals. Goosebumps and heart flutters when your crush texts you. A bad feeling or shiver down your spine when some creepy person on the subway keeps staring at you. Sometimes your body sends a message before your conscious thoughts kick in. Pay attention to how you physically react to people and use that as a guide.
Déjà vu. This is when you have a sense that you’ve already met someone or had an experience before, but you haven’t. Don’t write it off. Think about it and/or discuss it with friends. Depending on how it makes you feel, it could be a sign that things are going right or wrong.
- Synchronicity. Think of this as perfect timing. If a lot of coincidences are bringing you together with someone—or keeping you apart—ponder why that’s happening. This can feel like you keep getting the same message from the universe, and listening to that message can give you meaningful insight into your relationship.
- Seeing beyond. Ever think of an ex and suddenly they text you? Or crave Thai food when suddenly your S.O. walks through the door with Tom Yum Goong? Sometimes you can accurately sense stuff happening with people you care about even when they’re not around. Judith Orloff calls this “clicking” and if you’re that connected to someone, explore it and see what kind of things you’re picking up about them.
- Intuitive empathy. This is when you just know how someone is feeling without any clues. If you think this is happening, just make sure to check in and validate the person’s feelings. You don’t want to assume stuff. You want to embrace your sensitivity by bringing it up and giving the person a chance to share what’s really going on.
Once you start paying attention to things like goosebumps, coincidences, unbelievable timing, déjà vu, and other signs, you’ll probably see a pattern that confirms what you’ve felt deep down all along. Maybe it’ll steer you in the right direction or maybe you’ll ignore it (we all do that sometimes). Either way, we hope you continue to work on your inner compass/intuition. You’ll always need it and it gets stronger the more you use it.
P.S. Need help remembering the pill, patch, ring, or shot? Our cheeky reminders will keep you on track.