We’ve been pretty clear about how we feel about most New Year’s resolutions around here, but we do make an exception for resolutions that have to do with prioritizing your own pleasure. So here are our top 7 ways to have the best sex of your life in the new year.

Tuesday is Election Day. Which means you can turn those dead inside vibes into straight boss bitchiness in four simple steps and fulfill your civic duty along the way.

We’ve all been there. All dressed up with nowhere to go, so to speak. Maybe it’s after midnight and everything is closed in your town, maybe if you try to tiptoe down the creaky stairs you’ll wake up your mom who will then ask lots of questions like are you really going out dressed like that young lady, or maybe you’re just too dang lazy to be bothered with getting out of bed.

“Whether you’re wearing an athletic shoe or whether you’re using a dress shoe doesn’t matter to me, as long as your foot is protected. I want to make sure that you have on a sock.”