When you’ve got a crush, sending texts back and forth is a great way to fan the flames. A cute emoji here, a funny gif there. It’s fun to build a connection. But when does texting stop being cute and start to feel like too much? If a partner is texting you all the time and you feel like your thumbs can’t catch a break, it’s time to make your boundaries clear.
Here’s what you can do when someone is texting you too much:
Be direct - Texting is the way we all connect these days. But the constant rings, buzzes, and notifications, can feel overwhelming. Tell your partner how you’re feeling. Let them know you want to scale back the constant communication. Just like any conversation where the potential is there for someone’s feelings to get hurt, try to talk about it in person if you can.
Create some boundaries - Talk to your partner about the best and worst times to send you messages. If you live in different time zones, maybe you need a grace period when you’re just waking up or heading off to bed. If you have different schedules, figure out if you want to exchange texts while you’re at work, in class, or hanging out.
Turn off notifications - Change your ringtone or disable notifications altogether. It’s not the most direct way to communicate with your partner and might not be a long-term solution, but it’s a small thing you can do while you figure out your next steps.
Take a text break - If you need a breather, let your partner know that you have to take a break from texting for a day or for a few days. At the very least, put your phone down for a few hours and give your thumbs a rest. Maybe you want to take a walk without your phone, or put your devices on airplane mode.
Schedule time IRL - Texting is fun, but there’s nothing like the real thing. Make time for face-to-face hang outs with your boo to rekindle the special energy that you have together. Need a few ideas for having fun? Check out Bedsider’s guide on how to get intimate, even if you’re not getting it on right now.
Know when it’s getting unhealthy - If you’re missing out on work, school, or hang time with your friends and family because you’re spending all your time on your phone, it might be time to reevaluate how much you’re texting-and maybe even your partnership. If your partner is texting to keep tabs on you, pressure you in any way, or won’t respect it when you ask for more space, it might be a sign of digital abuse. If you feel like you need help, text “loveis” to 22522 to talk to a peer advocate at Love Is Respect.
Chatting with a partner through text should be a fun way to keep in touch when you aren’t together. If it isn’t fun anymore, it might be time for a change. Good communication is key for a healthy relationship-both on the phone and off.
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