Your Thanksgiving guide: Sex positions for when you’re too full to move

It'll take a lot more than a lot of turkey to stop us

Look, maybe turkey is an aphrodisiac for you. Maybe it’s your only opportunity to get any action while staying with family because everyone passed out after dinner. Maybe you’re just looking for any excuse to take your pants off. We’re not going to try to guess why you might want some hot, hot Thanksgiving sex. We’re just going to help you make the most of it.

via Giphy

Here are 8 Bedsider-approved post-Thanksgiving sex positions:

1. Standing sex

Yeah, the tryptophan may have you feeling sleepy AF, but standing sex is actually great for after a big meal since staying somewhat upright can help you prevent heartburn. Try leaning against a wall or piece of furniture for support while your partner penetrates you from behind or goes down on you.

2. Countertop romp

Try sitting on the bathroom counter, kitchen counter, or a sturdy table (or even the edge of the bed). With your partner standing or kneeling in front of you, they can use any number of toys, penetrate with a penis, or perform oral sex on you. Because your bodies are perpendicular to each other, there should be no pressure on anyone’s stomach.

3. Cowgirl/cowboy/cowperson

This is a good position for penetration, either with a penis or a strap-on. It may sound too athletic for after dinner, but if you’re on top, you have total control and you can go as fast or as slow as you want. Just be careful not to sit too high on your partner’s stomach or you may elicit the wrong kind of moans. If you’re on the bottom you pretty much get to lay back and enjoy with minimal effort.

4. Reverse cowperson

Reversing your cowperson is a good idea if the person on top wants to be able to put their hands somewhere for support. We’re betting pushing down on thighs and knees is going to be a lot more welcome than pushing on anything above the hips.

5. Mutual masturbation

This is the safest possible bet if you’re truly queasy. Nothing beats laying back on a pile of pillows with nothing pressing on you except your favorite vibrator.

6. Spooning sex

This is especially good if you’re the little spoon, but both spoons will be pretty comfy in this position. You can enjoy penetration from behind in this position, or your partner can use hands or toys on you. It’s both low effort and low impact.

7. Forward-facing spoons

Lay on your sides facing each other. Swing a leg over your partner’s thigh and enjoy shallower penetration or grinding. Be aware that if you both have bellies, this position may put some pressure on them.

8. 69

69 is an ideal way to enjoy some sexy time when you’re too full to consider anyone being on top of any part of you. Lay down on your sides and go to town.

Have fun, you crazy kids!


P.S. Thinking about joining the mile-high club this holiday season? We made a pro-con list for you.

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