You love him. Your friends hate him. Where do you go from here?

Feeling stuck in the middle

We’re going to assume you surround yourself with some pretty spectacular friends who are not jealous, judgmental, or juvenile. If good friends can’t stand the person you’re dating, here are a few ways to deal with it.

Try again.
Have they seen him at his best or only that one time after a marathon game of beer pong? If they’ve only met him under questionable circumstances, set up a group date and let them get to know him. Hopefully he’ll make a better impression.

Take a step back.
Listen closely to their concerns. Why don’t your friends like him? What are they worried about? It might be hard to do this and you may feel defensive. Do it anyway. Don’t get distracted thinking about the hot sex you had last night or how much breakups suck. Focus on how you feel when you’re with him outside of the bedroom, how he treats you, and whether or not there is something real—and respectful—going on between you.

If your relationship is healthy and you’re happy, then carry on. (And stock up on birth control.) If there’s some truth to what your friends are saying and you have a few concerns of your own, take more time to reflect on what you need. Then express those needs to him. His response will show you how mature he is and committed to making it work.

The show goes on.
Sometimes there’s nothing your significant other can do to win over your friends. They simply don’t get your relationship or him and that’s ok. You don’t have to change their mind. They don’t have to keep bringing it up. It’s not easy or ideal, but you can compartmentalize your social life. See your friends without bringing him along. Make new friends as a couple or hang out with his friends when you want to interact with a group. Accept everyone’s differences and see if dividing up your life is fulfilling enough for you.

Choose wisely.
If a friend forces you to choose between them or him, go with the person who really looks out for you and your wellbeing. Who truly has your best interest at heart? Who tries and who only complains? Look closely at your friend’s ultimatum, motivation, and communication. We know you don’t want to lose anyone special, but you may need to walk away from either your friend or boyfriend if the situation is making you crazy or getting seriously toxic.

Whatever you do in any of these situations, stay strong and remember to avoid abusive friendships or relationships.

It’ll all work out,

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