Some guys climax too fast. When it’s a new relationship, it can be kind of flattering. You might think: I must really turn him on. But after awhile it can get frustrating if it leaves you unfulfilled or him insecure. The good news is there are lots of things you can do to help him last longer.
- Have him do the Valsalva maneuver and build up his PC muscles. Join in the fun by doing your kegels.
- Nerves and anxiety can trigger premature ejaculation. Encourage relaxation. A little pre-sex yoga, meditation, or massage might help. Even talking helps.
- Try climax control condoms. They feature a slightly numbing lube to desensitize him. Don’t worry: The lube is in the condom, so your la-la doesn’t get desensitized.
- Learn the Masters-Johnson squeeze method and try it. They say this is effective for 98% of the couples who perfect the technique.
- Breathe deep together during sex. Have him control his breath and go for deep, long breaths in through the nose and out from the belly. This is surprisingly effective and relaxing.
- Play around with positions. Missionary is known to get guys there really fast. Try doing it with you on top. You’ll control the movement and pace, so work with him to keep it calm and make it last. Bonus: This position will probably help you get there faster.
- Have him masturbate a few hours before you two go at it. It’s like he gets the first orgasm out of the way and can prolong the next one with you. Win/win!
- Practice the Start/Stop method together. This is another famous technique that can help.
- Get naked. Not just when you’re having sex, but around the house. If he sees your luscious body a lot, it may not get him quite as excited when you have sex, and that might help him keep going until you’re both satisfied in bed. (You will still turn him on. He will not get tired of seeing your body. This simply gets him used to having a hot partner and keeps him from being overly aroused when you’re getting it on.)
- Have him see a doctor. Premature ejaculation might be caused by a medical issue that a doctor can easily resolve with medication.
And just because he reaches orgasm before you, doesn’t mean the sex is over. There are lots of ways he can continue on and bring you to orgasm too. Think fingers, tongue, vibrators, etc. You can also try having him spend at least 21 minutes on foreplay so you’re ready to come when he is. (When foreplay lasts 21 minutes it greatly increases the chance of women having an orgasm.)
Yes, premature ejaculation can be difficult for a couple to deal with, but try to be supportive, understanding, and patient as you work through it. You never know, it might be fun trying out all these possible solutions and bring you closer together while doing it.
Hang in there,
P.S. Have you booked your annual gynecological exam for 2012? Be sure to set up an appointment reminder so you don’t miss it.