18 ways to keep a relationship hot when you're really effing busy

‘Tis the season to stress out and overcommit. With so many parties, deadlines, lunches, errands, coffee dates, special occasions, dinners with friends, appointments, classes, and commitments, how does anyone have the energy or hours to keep their relationship hot?

Well, it’s not easy, but it is possible and it’s also kind of important. Relationships need consistent attention to grow and stay strong. Creating romantic memories over the holidays can build intimacy and increase your bond. And just touching each other can reduce stress and boost the immune system, which is quite helpful this time of year. So here’s how to sneak in some one-on-one time even when life gets crazy and overwhelming.

  1. Morning sex. This can be a great time to get it on if you’re too tired at night.

  2. Room service. Might be a little over the top, but picture you two booking a room to really get away from it all (and for a night of uninterrupted, super-hot hotel sex).

  3. Date night. It’s a classic for a reason. Setting aside one night to take a break and do something together—even during a busy time like the holidays—really does keep the spark going. (And it helps keep you sane if you already have kids.)

  4. Presents. We like the idea of giving something small that you can slip into a pocket with a note, like tickets to an event.

  5. Touch. Sex is awesome, but a hug, cuddle, or massage can be enough when you haven’t had a lot of time to get close. (That’s enough to release oxytocin and make you both feel good.)

  6. Old school gestures. Love notes. A special playlist. Flowers. They’re all simple, classic, and loving.

  7. Double up. This is all about saving time while you spend time together. For example, if you need a mani-pedi, bring your partner with you for one too. It might not be what you usually do, but it’ll get you both party-ready and give you some nice down time.

  8. Magic word. Pick a word before you attend a social engagement. Every time someone says that word, you have to touch.

  9. Erotica. Get a journal. Leave it by the bed. You start by writing chapter one. They write chapter two. You keep switching off. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be rated R.

  10. Sneak preview. Buy yourself some new lingerie. Take a picture of it and send it, hinting that it will be worn in person this evening.

  11. Sweet surprise. Baking is great, but buying is fine too. Get their fave dessert. Have some in bed at the end of the day.

  12. Plan a quickie. Group dinner or cocktail party at your friends’ place? You could sneak off for some discreet sex…

  13. Look at the lights. This one gets you out of the house and works even if you get home late. Jump in the car and drive around for a little while looking at holiday lights. Bonus: Make out in the car like two 16 year olds.

  14. Adrenaline rush. Things that get your heart racing will bring you back to the beginning of your relationship when it was all thrills and chills. Share a workout. Have a snowball fight. Belt one out at karaoke night. Be daring.

  15. Flirt alarm. Set your phone’s alarm for several times throughout the day. Send a flirty text every time it goes off.

  16. Get soapy. Shower together. Saves time. Saves water. Gets you all lathered up and turned on.

  17. 15 minutes in heaven. If you both have to work after hours, spend 45 minutes working, then 15 minutes going at it. Productivity has never been so delicious.

  18. Vacation lust. If things are just too busy to deal, plan a vacation for January and spend the crazy holidays texting each other what you’ll do when you’re able to get away. It’ll build excitement and give you something to look forward to.

When you do get some quality time between the sheets, remember your birth control and have fun.


P.S. This is not a drill, people. Open enrollment for 2016 health insurance coverage is happening right now through January 31st and we can help you figure out your next steps.

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