When we think about flirting, we often think of getting to know someone new. You flirt to attract a mate, not to keep a mate, right? Wrong.
Flirting can help stoke the fires of your attraction to your SO—and their attraction to you—when you’re in it for the long haul. But while flirting with new people might feel second nature after a few years on the dating scene, in a long term relationship it may require different tactics. Here are six tips to keep things sexy and interesting no matter how long you’ve been together.
1. Be conscious about compliments. Compliments are an excellent way to flirt with your SO, but the magic’s in the delivery. We all know the difference between saying “You look nice” in a regular tone and “You look niiiiice” with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, right?
2. Get dressed up for each other. In the beginning of a relationship, you might never let your SO see you in anything but your best. But when you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s normal to get more comfortable and stop trying so hard. Dates are a good excuse to get done up for each other again. Pick an activity you both love, then agree that you’re going to dress up for the occasion. Take it a step further by not letting each other see how amazing you look until you’re both ready to leave, then letting the compliments flow.
3. Get touchy. Physical flirting is a fun way to keep things fresh in an LTR. It’s also super easy. Give your boo a squeeze as you’re walking by them in the kitchen. Dazzle them with a luscious kiss. Grab them and dip them like in an old movie. You get the idea.
4. Send racy messages. Sexting is hot—and if you’re worried about privacy issues, it doesn’t have to include images. Racy messages are a great way to get you both worked up when you’re not in the same place, or to make plans for what you’re going to do together later.
5. Leave each other notes. A little note left in your lover’s bag or under their pillow is a cute, sexy way to remind them that they’re on your mind. Get creative describing what you’d like to do with them later, or check out these sext notes for inspiration.
6. Talk about your fantasies. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but been too nervous to bring up? Trust us: Your partner has a secret fantasy too. Talking about fantasies is a wonderful way not only to flirt but also to switch things up in your sex life.
Just like flirting when you’re dating, flirting in a long term relationship can be great foreplay. And here’s an added bonus: research has found that for many women sex in long term relationships is better than in hookups.
Know what goes perfectly with great long term relationship sex? Great long term birth control. Check out these options to make sure you’re covered when the flirting moves on to something more.
P.S. Repeat after us: Stressed sex isn’t good sex. Luckily, Guy Nottadadi is here to share some of the things dudes can do to take control of their sexual health.