Remember candy hearts? Those chalky little childhood treats that came around once a year? We’d eat them, oh yes, we’d eat them, because we knew that technically they were candy. But did they taste good? That’s an existential question we’re really not qualified to answer. What we are qualified to say is that the best and highest use of a candy heart is to use it to tell someone how you feel about them, but we were always too chicken to do that. So today we bring you a Second Chance. Celebrate Valentine’s Day this year by sharing on social or sending directly to a special someone.
1. For those times when DM means Do Me
Sometimes in life it’s best just to get straight to the point. But you can still have manners while you do it—adding a “please” never hurt anybody.
2. To celebrate your singlehood
You know who never cancels plans with you? Your own damn self. Enjoy a Valentine’s Day free from disappointment, mismatched expectations, and overpriced dinner. Single AF FTW!
3. For your inner cynic
Whether you’re single, coupled, throupled, or in some other configuration, all the Valentine’s Day hoopla may just not be for you. In which case, we’ve got a candy heart with your name on it.
4. To show love to the glove
Condoms are never not a good idea. That is to say, they’re always a good idea. Like a great one-night stand, they may be disposable, but in the end that’s honestly for the best.
5. For sending a not-so-subtle message
Let’s face it: not everyone is V-Day material. This could be the cutest way to break up with someone ever invented.
6. To celebrate your bestie
A good bestie is loyal, dependable, there when you need her, never imposes, and just gets you. If that’s not a description of your IUD, we don’t know what is! Celebrate her above all else this Valentine’s Day.
7. To brag about your longest-running relationship
Been on the pill since your teens? Think about it—it’s your longest ever LTR. Take her out to her favorite date night spot: the bottom of your purse.
P.S. If you’re looking for more ways to reclaim the day, check out Virgie Tovar’s instructions for a simple self-love ritual that will help you celebrate on your own terms.