BFF or Frenemy? What to do when you and a friend want the same guy

If you and your bestie both like the same guy, we’re here to warn you: There’s no easy rule of thumb for that one.

If he’s truly the love of your life, how could you be expected to postpone your happiness? And if she’s destined to be with him, how will you get used to simultaneously being heartbroken and happy for her? These are just two extreme scenarios, but there are many more. Here are a few ways to deal with this tricky situation.

If it happens all the time: Does one of you always want what the other has? Do you try to one-up each other? The friendship might be too competitive. Talk it out. Real friends are usually on the same team.

If it’s never happened before: If you are loyal, loving, supportive friends, have a heart to heart and try to agree that you’ll both work through this, no matter what the outcome is. It won’t be easy, but having a plan to stay friends is better than not having one.

If you get the guy: Be compassionate. You’ll be over the moon, but your friend is probably hurting, so no gloating. You don’t have to diminish your happiness or hide anything, just be sensitive and kind as your friend tries to accept things.

If she gets the guy: Be gracious. Life isn’t about winning every time. It’s about handling wins and losses with honor and integrity. You’ll find your own guy. Don’t doubt that for one minute.

If the guy is playing you both: Eff that. If he tries to get with you one night, then her, he is only in it for himself. Don’t let that kind of guy mess with you. A good guy will respect that you two are friends and he’ll only go after one of you.

When you’re going through this sort of thing, it’s easy to get caught up in drama. You may fight and say things you don’t mean. Or one of you might fool around with him, then decide you don’t want him. Whatever goes down, be responsible. Try to make choices that don’t hurt anyone.

Also, spontaneous hook ups are known to happen when emotions run high, so use birth control. A pregnancy scare won’t help an already complex situation.

And here’s a little shout out to the guys: You might think “Bros before hoes” is a reasonable mantra to guide you through a similar situation, but it’s not. Only an ass says that.

Remember: Things always work out in the end.

They really do,

P.S. Got a question about birth control? We’ve got a whole database of answers for you.

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