Laughter and sex: Quotes from people who put the “O” in comedy

Laughing and orgasms have a lot in common. They both relieve physical tension and stress. They release endorphins to give you an overall sense of well-being. They can also boost your immune system. So, you take care of the O. (And the birth control.) We’ll take care of the laughter.

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”
-Will Ferrell

“If you text ‘I love you’ and the person writes back an emoji, no matter what the emoji is, they don’t love you back.”
-Chelsea Peretti

“I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.”
-Chelsea Handler

“Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.”
-John Callahan

“It’s work having a vagina. Guys don’t think that it’s work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesn’t. Every night it’s like getting it ready for its first quinceanera, believe me.”
-Amy Schumer

“I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you’re good with grammar, you’ll get it.”

“Fuck it… that’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not ‘we love each other,’ it’s just ‘fuck it, man.’”
-Louis CK

“Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.”
-Billy Crystal

“Ducking for apples—change one letter and it’s the story of my life.”
-Dorothy Parker

Got a favorite funny quote about love, relationships, or sex? Add it to the list.


P.S. Did you know that a new version of the Gardasil vaccine will protect against nine common strains of HPV? Read all about it.

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