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6 things you can do when you want to scream

Go into the bathroom and scream while flushing the toilet. Everybody knows a toilet flush provides great sound cover for all manner of bathroom activities, like screaming. Plus watching the water swirl around and around pointlessly until it all gets sucked down the drain will remind you of the futility of life and turn your screams into hopeless sobs, which are quieter and frankly more appropriate for the workplace.

What to do when you run out of condoms

We’ve all been there. All dressed up with nowhere to go, so to speak. Maybe it’s after midnight and everything is closed in your town, maybe if you try to tiptoe down the creaky stairs you’ll wake up your mom who will then ask lots of questions like are you really going out dressed like that young lady, or maybe you’re just too dang lazy to be bothered with getting out of bed.