October 2019 horoscopes: Your relationship guide

Now that it’s officially fall, the season of snuggles and romantic date nights, it’s time to check in with your relationship and see how things are going. Find out what the stars have in store for you:


Something very eye-opening may be emerging about your relationship right now. You may be riding out a challenge with your partner that is testing your resilience, and it’s revealing new things to you about who you are and what you want. You definitely live and breathe for your relationship, so any struggle you’re going through isn’t for lack of commitment. But maybe it’s a good time to stop, breathe, and be present with yourself while you’re figuring out what your next move is. And remember: this challenge will pass!


You’re generally not so happy about the prospect of sudden shocks in your relationship. So when your partner does something a little out of left field this month, can you hold the freak-out at bay? You don’t give your trust out easily, and thus you’re that much more afraid of having given it to somebody in vain. You want to know that your relationship is solid and unshakable no matter what happens. And indeed, things should get smoothed out this month with good communication and a little empathy.That said, it’s good to hold healthy boundaries around what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship.


Your personal life feels like it’s soaring right now. And though you may prefer to be out in all the excitement, your partner may need you to show up with your more sensitive side. This month, they’ll be trusting you with deep, intimate vulnerability, which will require you to be tactful and hold space for them. Though that kind of slow, grounded energy may feel like it’s throwing a damp towel on the rest of life’s excitement, taking the extra time to show up for your partner will definitely pay off.


Your relationship may need more from you this month. It’s not that you haven’t been giving your all, it’s just that you only have so much all to give. Life is full of demands, and you are trying to meet every one of them. But burning the candle at both ends is starting to take its toll on both you and your relationship. This month, you may just have to put a few things on the back burner so that you can give your partner some extra attention. Don’t worry, you’ll still get that TPS report in on time (if not early—who are we kidding?).


You may be feeling extra romantic this month. But romantic Aquarius-style. You and your partner (who’s probably as much of a unique creature as you are) are super into taking journeys where no one has gone before. Whether that’s just expanding your world through long conversations about conspiracy theories or checking out indie films, your heart will be nourished by sharing love in the way that you most like to. You and your partner may be extra sexual this month, too. And the kinky, new, and exploratory will definitely find their way between the sheets with you.


You are a romantic at heart, and you have expansive ideals when it comes to love. As a result, you always want to promise your partner the moon. But this month, you are going to have to come to terms with some areas of your relationship where you may have over-promised. Though you may get discouraged or down on yourself when you (or your partner) realizes it, try not to feel too bad. Everybody bites off more than they can chew sometimes. You just need to be a bit more realistic about your limitations and stick to what you know you can do consistently. By the end of the month, things should be going far more smoothly between you and your love.


It’s a good thing you’re a born conqueror, because there are some definite relationship challenges to overcome this month. Keep in mind that it may be easy to go a little over the top because of your intense energy and, in so doing, to create more conflict. So be careful to match the tone of your partner’s energy and not to overwhelm them with your single-minded sprint towards resolution. By the end of this month, your partner will certainly know that you’re committed to making it work, and you will be reaping the rewards of your dedication.


Balancing the demands of work and home can be challenging. Even if it’s just managing your own mental energy going towards both. But when your partner does something totally out of the blue, it may be especially challenging. Mostly because major change always makes you feel a bit shaken. But if you can, try to remind yourself that your partner is a living, dynamic, evolving human, and that just because they’re going through changes in their life, that doesn’t mean those changes are a threat to your relationship.


This is a great month to put your energy towards romance! You may be suddenly full of fun ideas about how to get your partner out of the grind and into a flirty mood. Though you’re probably expecting them to meet you with the same enthusiasm, they may be in a slightly different place this month. Don’t get bummed out if they aren’t as excited as you are to go out on Halloween. Quieter expressions of love and romance can go a long way too.


Broaching the scary subjects with your partner is, well, scary. But you may be feeling like there are some things that have come up lately that really need to be talked about. There’s nothing wrong with that—it’s a natural part of every relationship. Just make sure you take the time to think about what you want to say, and how you want to say it, and what you need to do to create a safe space for your emotions this month. Safety is your keyword, and the safer you feel, the better any difficult conversation will go.


You’ve been deepening a connection with the love of your life lately. The energy between you is hot and romantic, and the sex is to-die-for. But your partner may go through some changes towards the end of the month that will make them slightly less available to meet your insatiable need for love and affection. This is probably just a natural fluctuation—there’s no need to attach meaning to it. Granting your partner the space they need will allow them to come back to you when they’re ready, which will help establish the consistency and trust you both need.


There may be some material challenges between you and your partner lately. Not that you don’t love them, but if there’s a serious imbalance in how you’re sharing expenses, for example, that can be a problem. Since the practical aspects of relationships are a little more important to you than the grand gestures of love, it may be a good idea to communicate your thoughts and needs to your partner. There is likely to be a compromise that works for both of you and helps the relationship go a little more smoothly.


P.S. “I relied on condoms to give me that little bit of space—the teensiest bit of distance—that made me feel safe when I was scared to get too close.” Read this raw, honest piece by Virgie Tovar about how condoms have kept her safe emotionally as well as physically.

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