Welp. This is why we can’t have nice things. In case we thought maybe 2021 would be a year with less chaos and tomfoolery than 2020, we didn’t have to wait long to have that cleared up for us. We really couldn’t make it through one full week, could we. And now there’s mutant COVID coming for us from the UK (thanks for nothing, Prince Charles, you really f-ed it up again!). So we thought it would be a good idea to give you some tips for having a romantic night in, which is the only kind of romantic night any of us are going to be having any time soon.

So there’s good news and there’s bad news. Bad news first: the pandemic is still a thing somehow. But the good news is that due to the pandemic, a lot of us are spending more time outside, where it’s safer, which presents tons of new opportunities to have sex in public places. Here are a few fall-specific ideas to get you started.

With fall just around the corner, we’re putting some time and effort into doing a little bit of nesting. For some of us, this month, that will mean putting ourselves out there to try to find a partner or partners to let into our pandemic pod. Read on to find out what this will look like for your sign.

You may have heard the urban legend that certain fruit (say, pineapples) can make vaginal or seminal fluid taste, well, fruity. That’s not quite accurate. While your diet certainly can affect your bodily secretions, there’s no evidence that eating certain foods (even in massive quantities) will change the taste of your fluids. Even if it did, it would be subtle. It’s still a vagina after all. So basically, don’t eat a whole pineapple in the morning and expect to taste like a tropical oasis at bedtime. Instead think of food foreplay more as an easy way to get all your senses involved during sex—and to satisfy any munchies you might have before your mouth gets busy doing other stuff.