Masturbation myths your body doesn’t care about (but your brain might)

Your body has no opinion on where you learned to touch yourself, how often you do it, or whether you use a toy or your own hand. It just knows what feels good.

Your brain, on the other hand, has absorbed years of myths, warnings, and weird cultural messaging about masturbation—and some of that stuff sticks around in the form of shame and guilt, even when you know better.

In the name of better orgasms, let’s clear up a few things.

Masturbation won’t make partnered sex worse

This myth has a few versions:

“Masturbation will make you less sensitive.”

“You’ll only be able to orgasm alone.”

“You’ll get so used to your vibrator that a partner will never measure up.”

The idea that masturbation ruins you for “real” sex is rooted in the belief that solo sex isn’t real sex. It is. And like many things, the more you do it, the better you could get at it.

Here’s the truth: Getting to know your own body tends to make partnered sex better, not worse. When you know what you like, you can say so. And if you’ve noticed you need more stimulation than you used to, that’s usually temporary and nothing to worry about. When you’ve practiced having orgasms, they generally become easier to have, not harder.

It won’t affect your fertility

This myth is especially common in communities where masturbation is seen as morally wrong. That’s a big part of why it sticks around—but there’s no science behind it.

Masturbating will not make it harder to get pregnant or get someone pregnant down the line. It doesn’t affect your egg supply, sperm count, hormones, or reproductive system in any way that would impact fertility.

Masturbating a lot doesn’t mean something is wrong with you

When it comes to masturbation, there’s no medically agreed-upon number for how often is “too much.” Frequency varies enormously from person to person and across different periods of your life. Every day is fine. Multiple times a day is fine. Never is also fine.

The question isn’t how often—it’s whether it feels like it’s getting in the way of things you care about, like work, relationships, or other activities. If it is, that’s worth paying attention to—and talking to a sex-positive therapist or provider can help you sort through it. If it’s not, the frequency itself isn’t the problem.

It doesn’t say anything about your relationship

Masturbating when you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to your partner, that something is missing, or that you’re being unfaithful. Most people in relationships continue to masturbate. It meets a different need than partnered sex—sometimes you want connection, sometimes you just want a quick release on your own schedule. Both things can be true at the same time.

Some even masturbate with their partner, think of that scene in Off Campus.

It doesn’t cause hairy palms or stunt your growth

There are myths dating back centuries that masturbation causes any number of physical changes—from hair on your palms to blindness or stunted growth—or that it even leads to insanity.

Most of these old-school warnings are tied to religious or cultural movements that need a scary story to discourage self-pleasure. None of them are true. Your body is genuinely not keeping score.

So where do these myths come from?

Mostly from the fact that masturbation has been treated as shameful for a very long time across a lot of cultures and religious traditions. Shame needs justification, so it invents consequences. The more dramatic, the better.

Some of that messaging runs deep. You can know something is a myth and still feel a flicker of guilt or weirdness around it—that’s not a personal failing, it’s just how years of being taught to think a certain way works. It takes time to unlearn.

If shame or anxiety around masturbation is genuinely affecting your life, talking to a sex-positive therapist can help. Not because anything is wrong with you, but because you deserve to feel good in your body without the running commentary.

Your body already figured out that part. Your brain is just catching up.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​