Real life good sex when you have endometriosis

Enjoying sex as a person with endometriosis can take time, patience, and self-love. Endometriosis is a condition where tissue that is like the tissue in the lining of the uterus grows outside it. This condition can make sex painful, but with a little creativity, you may be able to find what works for you.

Here’s a super quick guide on how to have sex with endometriosis. Just remember that every body is different and what works for one person might not work for another.

Can you have sex with endometriosis?

Yes! You can definitely have sex with endometriosis. If you’ve got it, you probably know it as “endo” and it’s notorious for causing painful sex. This isn’t the case for everyone, though.

What does sex with endometriosis feel like?

Sex with endometriosis feels different for every person, and for some, it can hurt. A common cause of pain is when you have endometriosis near the space between the uterus and rectum. Penises or toys can stretch or pull on this sensitive area.

Pain during sex can happen for other reasons too. Where you feel pain might depend on where in your body there are spots (also called lesions) of endometriosis. Pain during sex can also affect how you feel emotionally.

How do you make sex less painful with endometriosis?

There isn’t one single fix to making sex less painful with endometriosis. You can start by figuring out what feels good for you, and letting go of what doesn’t. Having endometriosis doesn’t mean you can’t be sexual or have fun with sex.

Endometriosis alternatives to penis-in-vagina sex

Using toys, just hands, your mouth, or dry humping can be satisfying and intimate. Sex toys that are the right size and shape for you can totally change sex for some people.

If you really want body-to-body penetration, don’t sleep on anal. If you’re nervous, you can start with a small butt plug and work your way up. Anal beads can also be a lot of fun. This might not feel good for you if you have any endometriosis in your rectum, so listen to your body.

Also, spoiler alert, but orgasm doesn’t always have to be the goal. This can help you feel connected to your partner/s or yourself without the pressure.

Having great sex with endometriosis

Keep communication open: Talk openly and honestly with your partner(s). How does endo feel for you? Which parts of sex don’t feel good or hurt? What feels good? Do you feel supported by your partner(s)?

Take the pressure off penetration: Sex doesn’t always have to mean penis-in-vagina sex. Or anything-in-the-vagina sex. Do what feels good for you and makes you say ahhhhhh.

Use your tools: Use lube, and lots of it. You can check out bumper rings like this one from Ohnut that limit how far the penis or toy goes in the vagina. Supportive sex furniture or pillows can make sex more comfortable.

Find an expert: Talking to a health care provider is a great start to help with painful sex. They might suggest hormonal birth control. Methods like the combined pill, patch, and ring can help with endometriosis pain.