Can I have your autograph? (On my ass. After we have sex.)

Ever wonder what it would be like to hook up with someone famous? From dream-come-true to worst-effing-nightmare, many fans have lived to kiss and tell. Here’s a taste of what bedding a celebrity might be like.

• Like Gerard Butler? One of Bravo’s Beverly Hills housewives says on a scale of 1 to 10, he is an 11 in bed.
  
• She doesn’t give details, but apparently Robert Pattinson is amazing in bed too.
  
• Does Simon Cowell judge his lovers like he judges people on TV? She says yes.
  
• Prefer rock stars to movie stars? Check out Groupiedirt.com where groupies report that Eminem is well endowed and kinky and Lenny Kravitz is excellent at erotic kissing. (If you’re short on time, BuzzFeed breaks it down for you.)
  
• Is Harry Potter a wizard in bed? Only if he likes you.
  
• Quentin Tarantino writes, acts, directs, and produces, but does he suck toes? This fan says his famous foot fetish is real.
  
• Was Russell Brand not so funny in bed? This round up of 16 celebrities who suck in bed says yes. So does this similar list of 10 stars who supposedly aren’t great at boot knocking.
  
• And the Grossest Sex Story Award goes to…Nikki Six of Mötley Crüe. We’d tell you, but you might barf.
  
• Thank you, Cosmo. The girls keep the celebs a secret, but their hookup stories are still good.
  
• Do some people make it their job to kiss and tell about their star-quality hookups? Yes they do and the pay is significant.
  

Now, should you find yourself in the arms (or bed) of a celeb crush, please use birth control and take STI-preventing measures. Because neither a baby nor a sexually transmitted infection are appropriate souvenirs to take home from a famous tryst.

XOXO,
Bedsider

P.S. We hear this all the time: “I thought I wouldn’t get pregnant because there’s no way I’m that fertile.” Then she finds out she’s pregnant because she didn’t use birth control. You really are that fertile. So find a method you love.