I spoke to four plus-size women—Chaya, Sarah, Liz, and Monica—and asked them to be as honest as possible about their experiences with birth control, including what has worked for them and what hasn’t. They talked about the stuff that surrounds the birth control convo that we almost never hear about. Here’s what they had to say:

In spring of last year, I finally got it: a referral to a surgeon to discuss my sterilization. I prepared my plea ahead of time: I’ve always been sure I don’t want to go through pregnancy and bear a child; if we change our minds, my fiancée (now wife) can have kids biologically; I have a bunch of kids in my life that I help care for already; and this would be gender-validating surgery for me.

My Mirena and I are best friends. I once struggled with terrible cramps, long periods, and forgetting to take my birth control pill—but the Mirena changed all of that.

Picture this: a 14-year-old girl is at the peak of body confusion and a hormone tsunami when her mother comes to her school to give a special presentation to her class about why abstinence is the only safe form of birth control. Yep, that was me. Having grown up in a religious household and spent my entire childhood attending a Christian school, from as far back as I can remember, I associated sex with pregnancy and STIs. But there was hope, or so I was told! All I had to do to be able to have safe sex was save myself for my future husband.